- Step #4 -Meeting Of-Line:
Do not every let yourself be coerced into meeting
anyone! If an Internet date threatens to stop
corresponding if you don't meet them within a
certain time, end the correspondence. Nice people
don't make threats or pressure people they care
about to do something their not ready to do!
If you are comfortable with meeting someone
off-line here is a list of "rules" to
follow. DO NOT FALTER FROM THEM!
1. Always meet in a public place, where there
will for sure be people around. I don't mean a
"public" park that sees 10 visitors a
year. I like restaurants, even if it's not a
popular one there will at least be employees
around. Restaurants don't always mean
"dinner" - lunch, coffee, even
breakfast or a snack mid afternoon can be nice.
Weather permitting parks (popular ones with
people all the time and no secluded spots) can be
nice, giving you good opportunity to talk and at
the same time enjoy the outdoors. Another great
place is museums, coffee houses (afraid I don't
know any in my town), sporting events. Be
creative when deciding but always keep in mind 3
things: something you both will enjoy and be
comfortable doing, public with people around, and
allowing for conversation between the two of you.
2. Meet means "MEET" it doesn't mean
pick-up and drive there. If a date goes sour you
will be thankful for being able to drive yourself
home rather than endure that horrid ride home
with someone you don't want to be with.
3. Before leaving to meet give all information to
a friend or family member - name, phone number,
and any other information of the person your
meeting, where your meeting time, and when you
expect to be home (see #5).
<<< Insert >>>
One time I was meeting a man for
"coffee" (I don't drink coffee, Diet
Pepsi is my choice of caffeine). Including drive
time I told my friend to expect me home in 2
hours. Bless her heart 2 hours and 5 minutes
later I was paged at the restaurant. We had
gotten so involved in conversation I lost track
of time. I go a good lecture from my friend over
that one but took it joyfully as I know how
thankful I would have been if something had gone
wrong.
<<< End Insert >>>
4. Agree to call that friend or relative when you
get home!
5. Set time limits for first meetings and keep
them short. No all day outings the first meeting.
If you're not as comfortable off-line as you were
on-line it can make for a very very long day if
you've committed to the entire day together.
6. Don't be afraid to end a meeting early! If a
meeting isn't going well, your uncomfortable with
the person, or you just don't like them feel free
to end it, politely if possible. Don't feel you
must continue just to be polite, that can
actually have just the opposite effect. Carrying
on a date for 2-4 hours can give the other person
the impression that you are interested in them
and they can be more hurt by continuing.
<<< Insert >>>
I am afraid I learned this lesson the hard way.
Agreed to meet a gentleman for an early dinner.
It just happened we both arrived in the parking
lot at the same time. We had exchanged pictures
on-line so recognized each other (this one
actually posted his real picture). Sad thing was
when I stepped out of my vehicle he walked over
and the first thing he said was, "You lied,
your taller than 5"10"!" He was a
good 2 inches shorter than me and I was wearing
flats. Now, I have another rule, it's called my
"6 Foot Rule". Gentlemen please don't
take this wrong but I am very self-conscious of
my height and prefer to date men taller than
myself. Now, this "gentleman" had on
his profile he was 6', in correspondence I had
even asked him about that and he said he was 6'
exactly when he went to the doctor a few months
before. Here he was the first thing out of his
mouth calling me a liar when actually he was the
liar. I should have ended the date in the parking
lot! But didn't, for the next hour I listened to
how "big bad and strong" he was and was
miserable the entire time. When dinner was over
and I felt it "safe" to escape he asked
for a second date and was rather upset when I
told him I didn't think that would be a good
idea. He thought the meeting went great!
<<< End Insert >>>
7. Don't be afraid to ask for HELP if needed! If
you have followed the previous rules this should
not be a problem. If at any time you don't feel
safe or don't feel you can safely end a date ASK
FOR HELP. There are going to be people around and
someone will gladly help you out of this
situation. Call your relative or friend you left
information with and ask them to
"rescue" you. Ask the waitress or host
where you are meeting. Or ask a stranger…..
But ask!
<<< Insert >>>
I will never ever forget the dear couple I met
one evening while on a "date". Dinner
and conversation had gone well but when finished
and time to say good night that I started getting
an uneasy feeling. He kept insisted he didn't
want to end the date, wanted to come over to my
house, didn't feel like driving home (he was from
out of town). When I realized I was going to have
to walk out into a now dark parking lot and was
sure he would be following me I became even more
uncomfortable. About that time I saw an older
lady at a nearby table get up to go to the ladies
room. I excused myself to do the same! Once in
the ladies room I felt really stupid and had no
idea what to do now but when the lady came out of
the stall I just poured my heart out to her -
explained the situation as quickly as possible.
When I told her I felt stupid telling her all
this she very calmly said, "Don't worry
we'll take care of it". She asked if I was
ready to go home which I was and asked my name.
We each went back to our tables me still being
somewhat concerned and unsure as to what to do
next. Within a minute though the lady and her
husband came over to our table. The husband did
all the talking, "Faith it's great to see
you. Are you still having that problem with your
car? Sorry I haven't gotten over to look at it.
Do you have it here? I could take a quick look at
it." He introduced himself to my date as a
"neighbor" and the 4 of us walked to
the parking lot. The man had me open the hood of
my car, checked a couple wires, and said he'd
have a better look at it in the morning. Then
informed my date they would make sure I got home
safe. The date ended, he left in a huff, and I
did not make another date with that gentleman. If
by any chance that couple ever reads this I would
like to thank them again and thank the Lord for
sending them to my rescue.
<<< End Insert >>>
8. If at all possible make first dates on a
weekday or weekday evening. This is a great help
to keeping a time limit. If one or both parties
have to get up in the morning for work it's not
so likely to turn into an "all night
affair".
9. Be Honest - with both your date and yourself!
You may be able to be anything or anyone on the
Internet but when meeting, eventually the truth
will come out. Why waste your time and theirs
telling lies that will eventually be found out.
Lying to yourself only causes frustration to
yourself and can lead to lying to the other
person.
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